journeywithjayme

I have noticed that sometimes when I write I talk about the resolve and strength of our relationship in the context of getting through difficult times, or leaning inwards to be safe and secure with each other. While those are important bits of us, I felt it was time to do a bit of bragging and just be jovial. Yes this blog post will be pure happiness unadulterated with any other feelings.

First off, Jayme’s birthday was last weekend and it went really well! we got to spend Friday with her family playing games and having dinner, and then Saturday morning we were able to grab breakfast together, cuddle on the couch, and generally have a great time before she headed off for a night with her gals. I packed Jayme a surprise cooler full of goodies and from what I gathered they had a great time.

I also got to spend the night with my friends playing Frisbee golf, shooting guns, drinking beers, and singing Karaoke. It was a great time, but also got an extra little birthday gift of my own that night. I got to feel like the girl I am going to someday marry was “dating” me again. what I mean is, being apart led to texting intermittently from our different social events, those early butterflies when reading a message, or getting a Snapchat were there again, reminding me how excited I was when I got a brand new girlfriend. It was a fun reminder of the early times in our texting/flirting/dating life, and just how fortunate we are. Another blessing was being able to go out with my friends and not be “on the hunt” because I already have found the most amazing and beautiful woman of all time (photo evidence disbursed throughout the entire blog).

If last week was good, this weekend should be great! Jayme is headed to the Luke Bryan concert with her mom and sister tonight at US Bank stadium. It should be a great show and with Kim in the same place as Luke Bryan I am eagerly awaiting the stories. Tomorrow we will be heading out to the lake with a group of friends for a birthday celebration, then an evening of beer Olympics. Sunday is a day to recover before Jayme starts working her new job at General Mills.

Sometimes we focus too much on the things that are troubling and forget about all the happiness and good around us. I have been victim of that before and will be in the future, but for this minute, this moment, right now, I only see happy things.

 

 

 

This is one of my favorite pictures of us, I know its been posted before, but beauty knows no bounds on repost right?

 

This is what I am building towards, asking one question, to one woman. The thousands of words I have typed are all meant to be a gift for the one I seek, “yes”. I am not concern about her saying those words, our relationship is full of open communication that lends itself to insights as to how the other feels, and her love is just as strong as mine. We bring out the best in eachother and never tear down what we have been building.

But with all that said, it still is a scary proposition, asking her to take me for me, from this day forward, no matter the storm, no matter the situation. Perhaps this is why I have been struggling to find the perfect way to ask Jayme. Oh I have plenty of ideas, but none ever seem to be able to parallel my feelings I have for her. Perhaps that is the greatest problem I have encountered, having a love that transcends natural and physical manifestations. That what we have cannot be summed up worth any words, actions, or Objects.

But yet I need to find someway to make the moment happen none-the-less, and I have a few ideas to show Jayme how special she is to me. Whether it is a chapel walk late this fall at SJU, Christmas morning, or a bright spring day out at lake Linka, where we will eventual bring this whole story full circle, I am sure of one thing, I have never been more excited for a single moment in my life.

Jayme has come to show me that she is more to myself then I ever knew was there. She has unlocked the best parts of me, and she even cherishes the ones that are still need some polishing. There is never any contingency on her love, or quid pro quo that needs to be satisfied. She gives all of herself, each day, no matter what.  Cynics will say that type of dedication and love is not real, at least not all the time. But they are wrong, this woman is the closest thing to perfection that the world has seen. her love is true and requires only acceptance to exist. This is why I only have one thing left I need to say to her, “will you marry me?”

 

 

 

The title might be kind of cryptic, but Jayme will get it…

Jayme is Employed! Big milestone for us, but more importantly, for my babe. She has been working very hard to find her first place in the big business world, and General Mills won the lottery for the greatest future employee. She is so dedicated, smart, level-headed, the is nothing she won’t be able to do. Times like these are exciting and amazing all at once. The light we have been waiting for finally turns on and our lives are illuminated in such a way that it feels like we are seeing for the first time. All of this change leads to busier lives and more decisions.

Life gets really busy sometimes, not just for the happy things like getting a job, but stress from our work, family squabbles, a serious illness, a number of different events can distract and absorb our lives. But no matter what might be in my life that could be distracting or drawing my focus, all I need is one message, one whisper, one glance from Jayme and all that focus melts away. I am consumed by her in all the ways.

If we ever need to get away and be just us, All we need to do is see the other and melt away. That is a key to our happiness, and its ability to be prolonged for life. We know there will be good and bad, but having a FTB makes it all seem so simple.

Oh also we won our regional Trivia championship and got 5th at state… NBD

 

 

 

 

 

Patience is a virtue that I sometimes lack. I want everything and I want it right now. Whether it is a Vikings Super Bowl win. (this is our our year!) or something more mundane like a chipotle burrito (sooo hungry) I am one who has a hard time waiting, and this is even more true when it comes to Jayme.

See on Mondays all I want is to be home with her still, in bed, cuddling and putting the world on snooze. But I have to go to work and be far away from her. Often on Mondays I am prompted to say things like “I want to listen to Beyoncé and put a ring on it” <-actual message I sent today.  My desire to move on to what is next often over shadows the greatness of where we are. Jayme’s responses to my eagerness is simple and honest “When the time is right 🙂 “. It is not an attempt to slow my excitement or desire, but to remind me that things are great right now and that there is no reason to hope for the future when the present is already a dream.

She might be all I want, but I sometimes forget, that I already have her, and no ring or vow will change that. It is not some type of magical item that will make her love me forever, or even tomorrow, because each day we wake up, we have to choose the person next to us. Our love will last not because of our past or a future promise, but because our love exists in the present, and the rest will come when the time is right.

 

 

Thoughts on Clocks

I used to think all that clocks did was tell you the time. Hours, minutes, seconds, and days if its real fancy. But recently, clocks have become to tell me so much more, and I wanted to share that with you. There are all types of clocks in the world. Big ones on towers, small ones you wear on your wrist, digital ones, traditional ones, ones that chime and ring, ones that blink, ones that talk, ones that sing, but they all have something in common for me now. They tell me how to feel. 7:22 is no longer just a time before work, it reminds me to feel grateful that I have just spent the last evening sleeping with the woman I love. 8:05 has me longing to caress your skin or kiss your lips just one more time. 1:00 makes me feel nervous excitement remembering our first date to the Guthrie. 4:00 makes me giddy thinking about seeing your smiling face in the seat next to me.

To me, Clocks, don’t represent time alone anymore, they represent feeling, they have their own individual expressed emotion unbeknownst to anyone else. Furthermore, the world, not just clocks are now painted with a new brush adding a depth and texture to previously dimensionless places and objects. This expansion of meaning has brought new life to what I thought was already a magical world. I am beyond grateful that I have you to illuminate the dark spots and extenuate the already bright ones. I love you Miss Jayme, the last month has been whirlwind to say the least, but I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Have a wonderful day my sweetheart and remember that I just a few doors away is a man the loves you always and unconditionally. I hope that now, whenever you look at a clock that you no longer see numbers and dials, but all the feels.

-Luke

 

 

A whole week and no new post, well last week was a tough one. Pressures and stress of work pushed me into not myself entirely. I did not love as fully as I should have, but that is all over, and I am back to my old self, it made me think about the concept of being lost and when else are we more lost then in a thick fog.

The title of this post might lead some to think about the term “Fog of War” The idea that in battle, there is much confusion and not all things are known. well, I think love can sometimes be that way too.

I get to spend my days. nights, my every time with the greatest woman in the world. Being that close to such a strong love sometimes means I don’t see the basics of that love and take that for granite. for example, when I was crushed from not getting that job, she was there to hold my hand and when I just wanted to sleep she made sure both fans were pointed at me. That might seem small, but I will never forget that action. It reminds me that I need to cherish the ordinary along with the extraordinary.

I am meant to be hers and her mine. I intend to keep it that way until my last day. and while the Fog of Love might get thick at times, our commitment to each other will keep us safe and most importantly, together.

 

Jayme likes to play “The Sims 2” (make note of the generation of the game, anything else is considered not right). It is a game that I play as well, but not recently. One day we were talking about it and I asked her why she didn’t just use the cheat to get all the money. Her response was, “that is half the fun.”

Right now my eyes are tearing up and shivers are running down my back and legs, thinking about what I am seeing in my mind and what I want to write. My thoughts are just a bit ahead of my fingers, don’t worry though, I will get to the mushy stuff.

Now back to the story, I didn’t quite understand, her not wanting to have everything all at once and do whatever she wanted. But for her, building a life, albeit a virtual one, being able to see the struggles, made the successes that much sweeter. That is the kind of woman you want to build a life with.

Right now, we struggle, we endure, but we do it as a “we”. For quite awhile I lamented my position in life, that I was not able to give her everything I felt she needed and deserved. I felt inadequate, that I was not the kind of man she deserved. But as this amazing woman showed me day after day, that she wanted to be nowhere but right next to me. Whether we are struggling or coasting, she wants to be next to me.

So here we are; two people standing, building a life from scratch, from the ground up. It is far from perfect, it’s riddled with cuts, bruises, and tears, but they are ours, and the comfort of knowing that simple fact is inexpiable. I eagerly await the life we will build, the home, the twinkles, the everything with Jayme.

(It should be noted that Pokémon Go came out last week and I totally could have likened this post to being about starter Pokémon, but I didn’t so I think that deserves some mad props)

 

The 4th is almost here! We are gearing up to celebrate America with guns, drinks, lakes, fire, and games. Thinking about heading up to my dads with Jayme gets better each time. With each trip we gain new memories and she becomes even more engrained into my family. The weather looks like it will hold and we should have an amazing time. These are the times when love is easy, when arguments are few and kisses plenty. But what I want to talk about today is how we weather the storms of life in an effort to not simply survive, but to thrive.

Jayme and I might not be living in squalor, but times are tough right now.  With uncertainty around every corner we have times that push us, make us uncomfortable. Tension develops and attempts to drive us apart, but what we have cannot be broken.

I liken our resolve to that of a tall pine tree. There are a row of them at my grandma’s house. When the winds come and whip strong they will sway to and fro, violently at times. They appear to be at the mercy of mother nature, but in reality, these trees are doing what they are designed to. Absorb and go where the wind takes it. And when the skies calm and the sun shines, it is the pine that stands tall.  They might have missing bark or a broken branch, but still standing.

When a storm rages in our lives (like our current financial woes) we have learned (and are learning) to sway with the storm. to rely on the other as we do in the good times as well. Jayme not only keeps me grounded in what really matters, but also keeps me growing to reach my potential. I like to think I do the same for her. We are family now and I cannot wait to join our lives together in front of our loved ones, but until then we she weather our storms together, we will bend, but never, ever break.

 

The title to this post is based off that commonly said phrase when asking about payments. exchange the word love for cash, check, or credit and the sentence might make more sense to the rest of the world. And like 99% of people out there, Jayme and I also struggle with having enough to do what we like and get through life.

The last few days have really accentuate this to me, with more bills coming due, the uncertainty of our job prospects, and the desire to “keep up with the Jones'” has shown me how tight things really are. and while our bank account might be low on monetary funds, there is one place where we are beyond rich.

Our love account is full and growing all the time. There is such a fierce dedication to making sure that we always have love to draw on that our funds grow each and every day.  While we might not be able to pay any student loans or buy groceries with it, but Love keeps us together. Money is stressful, not knowing if you can afford to pay all your bills, or if the mountain of debt in front of you will ever be conquered. Those things can put a rift in a relationship and tear apart the trust and love that was developed. But with Jayme and me, it pulls us closer together. We rely on each other and pull from the others strengths to get through the tough times. It is the huge stack of love bucks we have that remind us that everything is going to be alright.

That is what I think is so unique about my future bride and me, no matter what we defend each other, we defend the “us” before the “me”. When the time calls our duty is to each other first and everyone else second. By having this belief and structure, we never feel the need to live up to our own ideas of what we need to do for the other. We love simply and completely. I used to think that I needed to provide this life for Jayme that was to par with how she made me feel inside (who was I kidding I didn’t have personal dolphin butler money). I struggled with being good enough, or deserving of her love. But she showed me what it was she desired, and thankfully loving my best friend comes easy.

So while we work on our financial goals and building a comfortable living someday, we will pay for our life with love and be happier then ever.

I know I used this picture before, but it is just so damn cute!

 

What another fun weekend, it was such a great time! so I will start with the specifics before the Maple (if you forgot what maple is, check back here for a review). This weekend was a few things, starting Thursday my older bro moved into his new house, and, depending how you look at it, I was fortunate enough to work and miss the whole unloading and lifting things part. Jayme however found herself there all day long without me. Lifting, moving, carrying, sweating. All with my family (mostly my Dad). I showed up late and carried the last few things in and helped Adam change his brakes.

So this was supposed to be our Father’s Day as well since dad was going to be gone for Sunday. So as we were working on the car he mentioned that “Jayme is a real trooper, she did good work today”. I acknowledge the comment and went on working.

The rest of the weekend had us on a bike and brew around Minneapolis (see sweet America garb) Being tired me and Jayme left early, ate chipotle and took a two hour nap. The Next day was brunch with her family and watching movies. But  the moment that struck me the most was when on the way to visit Jayme’s parents, I called my dad to wish him a happy Father’s Day. We talked small talk and then I mentioned where we were headed and dad said some of the most important words to me I have ever heard. .

So unlike the typical blog post these words are actually life changing, well at least for me.

He interrupted me and said, “She is an amazing girl, she has a good head on her shoulders.” he went on to discuss how she just jumps right in to help, that she is a great person and that he is happy that I found her. I said thank you and that it meant a lot to me. He continued to gush about how she made the whole move bearable and that she really is amazing.

Whoa. that is what I was thinking. My dad, has never said anything like that to me before. Sure he would talk about wanting me to be happy, or that he was proud of me, but never anything about the person I was with, and now he is dropping some huge love/truth bombs on the situation. I didn’t need my dad to say these things for me to know that she is all of that and much more, but that type of validation and assurance from a man I look up to…. well that is something that cannot be expressed in words.

To me, this just speaks volumes about the woman Jayme is, the kind and unrelenting soul who gives as much as she can and then gives beyond that. Her light hearted approach to problems, her calm demeanor, her, well her everything. She is the one I want forever.

So on Father’s Day, the man  who raised me gave me big words and made me proud of who I am and more importantly who will be my side from here forward.