journeywithjayme

Ahh what a great holiday weekend it was, we played games, saw family (we were iced out from seeing my mom, but were able to get together with some of Jayme’s family still.) It was a great time and I could have not asked for much more excitement. We had all day Monday to lounge around and just be lazy. We did normal couple-ly things and were headed to bed for one last sleep before I headed back to work.

Here is where the title for the post comes from. Jayme hates when cold air “rushes” <-(her word not mine) into the bed when I roll over or move my legs. it is a point of contention most nights, but last night was the last straw, she told me to “stop it” and after struggling to get my phone to charge, I took my half of the blankets and sheet, took them from the bed and gave them to her. I went out into the living room, snagged a blanket and tried to return to sleep in our bed. I was allowed free movement in this new blanketed setting, I could move my legs spin to my hearts content, it felt great. At first. I slept terribly, without having the bigger warmer blankets I was chilled and could not fall asleep for long, in addition my bed-space was smaller due to the huge lump of my wood-be blankets piled between us. I woke today exhausted and wanting nothing more then to be back under the blankets I belong in.

Jayme welcomed me back, clearly felt bad for her part, and I did too. We were both so tired we never talked about it, maybe we will tonight, but it doesn’t matter, cause I know how the conversation will go. I will say I am sorry, she will too, we will talk through the problem and do our best to understand each other. Not because I can see the future, but because that is how we solve problems. words, thoughtfulness, and empathy.

In a small way this blanket situation is much like what it is like to be in a relationship. It is cozy and comfortable together, but it also comes with restrictions, rules if you will. learning to work together through them helps to prevent problems from arising. You can go it alone, try and do your own thing (in the context of the relationship) but you will be missing the warm and soothing love that comes from sharing in your struggle and solving it together.

One thing I know for sure, I will not be leaving that warm comforter for anything again.

 

Wow, It has been awhile since I wrote a post. I had all intentions of writing, but time got away from me. But I am here now and ready to make up for the lack of sap and romance.

So Christmas is approaching and it always seems to be a time of year that is full of love and happiness. Buying gifts, attending parties, drinking a few more drinks then needed, a generally great time. But what makes it feel even more extraordinary is having Jayme by my side for all of it. last weekend we went out to my dads for the holiday, we played on the ice, went for walks, watched the Vikings game (inside a BARELY heated cabin), it was everything I could ask for. But she was not just there with me, she was present in the moment, she engaged, enjoyed herself, was exactly the woman I want to be my PIC. She has such a loving and gentle way about her, but one that also allows me to be me. she does not harness or control, she embraces and loves me for all the parts of me (minus the farts, but her objection is well documented already).

Perhaps it is just the extra love in the air this time of year, but I feel it stronger and stronger with each passing day. Jayme has not let me down once. She has been steadfast in our love and also in her support for me. We have agreed to not buy gifts for each other, but the truth is, she is the greatest gift I could ever ask for. So as we prepare for another holiday weekend, I am so thankful for me Journey With Jayme.

 

Dec. 6th is my birthday. I love my birthday and I am zero percent ashamed of it. I like seeing the nice things people say, getting to be with friends, phone calls, the whole thing. It also reminds me I am one year closer to eventually being a real adult (whatever that means). And this is also the same day that Jayme and I became “Official” even though we were completely head over heels with each other long before that night I called from the hotel lobby of my brother’s bachelor party. But this day is the actual day it happened, so not only is it my birthday, but it is the “birth” of our relationship. The beginning to the next chapter of my life.

This was the first time Jayme was able to buy a gift for me and she knocked it out of the park! The big whiskey cubes I was eyeing up, a wooden watch that I could not stop “pining” over, and a super cute 29 reasons why I love you note. It was perfect, but more then just the gifts is how she acted during this week. She made sure that I was treated extra special, she told me to do whatever it was I wanted, she made special meals, she, she was exactly the person I know her to be. Her behavior was not out of character, or over the top. It is what you would come to expect from a girlfriend who loves their boyfriend in the way She loves me. Things are still new, still fresh, but also so settled and worn in, and I love every bit of it.

So I was preparing to write a new post today, but this old title popped up. I have a specific story that goes with it that I will share, but it fits so well with my thoughts last night that I think a little additional information should be added.

The original story was about the night I went to trivia alone. Jayme was meeting some friends for HH and I was going to stay at home and just relax, but I had a desire to play trivia (we go most Thursdays). Well I could not convince anyone to join on such short notice, so I went to play alone. Jayme texted me halfway through that she was leaving soon, I filled her in on where I was and she was debating coming to sit with me, but there would be so little time for her there that it was not really worth it. So I was finishing up with a question and I feel a tap on my shoulder and it was my babe in all her beauty. Of course I wanted her to come, but I couldn’t just tell her that. I wanted her to want to be there.

Clearly this was not the most convenient or “worth it” situation, but she did it for me, she showed up, partly because, that is what she does, she puts importance on me and how I feel. It is something I will cherish forever, but also something I often forget. I have not had many situations in relationships where I have felt the tender caring that Jayme provides all the time. and much like this situation, last night Jayme helped to remind me of this trait of hers.

I was feeling kinda down for a number of reasons, but partly my birthday plans were not coming together as I would have wanted. I am to blame really, I never organized soon enough and it is a hard time of the year to begin with. So I was struggling with it. She told me just to do exactly what I wanted and not think about what others would want. So she pushed me to plan a night with the guys; whiskey, games, gambling, the whole thing. It felt good to have her give up our place to host the guys and just be completely selfless. She said “it is your birthday, do what you want”. And in the end, I intend to. I canceled the guys get-together this morning, found a great restaurant with a good happy hour and will go for a fine drink and amazing meal with my babe. What I want, and have always wanted is her, to show her how much I appreciate the woman who showed up.

 

 

A fun holiday weekend in the books. Me and Jayme took off on Wednesday and started the journey with an interview for her, a visit to both of my parents’ places, and then went to my brothers house before two days with her family. It was an awesome time. I got to bond with some of the gents on Jayme’s side, she got to go shopping with her mom and sister, and plenty of great food. Saturday and Sunday were ours to be together at home and just enjoy being with each other. We did our same generic life things and I loved every minute of it.

The Holidays always seem to be a time of reflection, Thanksgiving especially, we are meant to think about what we are grateful for and to show our thanks for those things. This is the first Thanksgiving me and Jayme got to spend together, and as we wind down the list of “firsts” together, I felt especially more-than-thankful. The novelty of our relationship is not what makes it great, it is the depth of it. the simplest of moments, that might only appear to be a puddle on the surface, have such deep levels of meaning and substance that a whole well of emotion could be captured from inside of it. I don’t need anymore firsts in my life to  know who I want to share my every-others with. She doesn’t show her thanks for me and us everyday, not just on some Thursday in November. She never lets me forget how important I am, or what I mean to her. those are such precious things that don’t exist enough in life.

our love is genuine, it is real, it is tangible, it is expressive, it is strong, it is exactly what I desire. I am thankful for this love I have been provided with. I will hold it close and treasure it forever.

I write today under siege from mother nature, blizzard like conditions might have me stuck on that long stretch of I-94 for hours tonight. It will be a grueling commute, at this point, I am just hoping to make it all the way home without getting stuck! If for some unfortunate reason I require rescuing and a stranger asks me for my name, I might have a hard time answering them. While Ri Ri knows her answer, my name is slightly more confusing. I am known as a lot of things and it seems that each week/month I get a new nickname bestowed to me.

Max Mcdougall, Kitten, Babe, Snugglebutt, Pteredactyl  Mr. Kitten, etc. they multiple and all are used at varying intervals. And the nausea people might be feeling at the cuteness pales in comparison to the love I feel from hearing anyone of these nicknames. They all have a back story, rich billionaire, pet cat, etc. The thought behind the story is what  makes me smile the most.  The goofiness of our relationship is something to truly cherish. It is what helps to make the bad moments okay and turns the good ones into great ones.  Funny thoughtfulness does not get enough play for its importance (henceforth referred to as funfulness). Life is serious, problems are real, obstacles, obligations, all those things exists, and having a partner who is so funful helps to cut the often overwhelming nature of existence. It creates a reprieve from all those negative and stressful situations, it allows time for recharge, to, prepare to handle whatever comes our way. Oh, it also is a lot of fun to be able to run around a park like a dinosaur with your best friend, even if you are 28.

So while I am sure my list of other names I am known by will continue to grow, the one I am waiting for right now is husband.

Picture credit from Jayme’s Snapchat of me crashing hard on Friday after work, I blame the whiskey and cozy blanket.

So the election did not go the direction we wanted it to. Our hopes for a progressive and inclusive America might have to wait a bit longer, But who knows maybe Trump will surprise us all and soften some of those hardline positions.  As the results were coming in I became more and more defeated, scared, sad, fearful. We went to bed before the election was called, it was a hard moment to stomach. I was still feeling all those emotions, but could tell that Jayme was shaken as well. She needed me to be strong for her in that moment, so I did what I was supposed to, I was for her what she has been for me so many other times. I was her rock. I did not waiver, I was positive, held up the lantern (which was discussed in the previous post) and I supported the woman I loved when she needed me.

I learned a lot about myself and our relationship that night. Something happened beyond our control, something that was bigger then we could imagine. we did not allow it to define us or control our feelings. Instead we continued to lean inwards, even more then usual. I know for 100% certainty that this is the woman I want to go through each and every shitty situation with. She will always be there to help me trudge through whatever comes our way. Jayme is my life, she will continue to be for all my days. I relish the thought of forever with her. Staring at the mural of photos I am looking at. She truly embodies what it means to be a life partner. I will stand by her side, and she by mine, our love will shine like a pillar of light no matter how dark the days get. Our love will never fade or falter, for it is powered by love, the strongest force of them all.

 

 

 

The 2016 election is only hours away from starting now. The next 4 years of leadership for our country is going to be decided very soon. Will the country select Donald or Hillary, but no matter who sits in the oval office, there is one thing that will remain consistent. Jayme will continue to be the commander and chief  of my heart. And that my super corny Segway into what really matters. This prefect emotion of contentment.

I talk frequently about how I want to be settled, have everything figured out. And as of today, that settledness still does not exist. But after a weekend away from Jayme, coming home, to home to her, brought me so much contentment I felt settled. She is the anchor that holds me in place, the one that keeps me grounded and reminds me what in life really matters. The softness of her cheeks (which she hates when I touch) the funny way she dances around the apartment, the way she cares for me diligently, and of course, the way I feel when I here her call my name. She has said a lot of things that are sweet and make me smile, but that is the one that stops me in my tracks. That this Amazing woman knows me, says my name, and wants it to be hers someday.

I just got off the phone with Jayme, she has been having trouble with what I am talking about today. She is anxious about the future, about waiting for phone calls and emails that could change our trajectory in life. The job of a teammate/best friend/someday husband is to pick the other up when they are down. Me and Jayme call that holding the lantern. That is the best thing about having your other half be someone who is as thoughtful as Jayme. She has done well more then her fair share of lantern holding for me. It has taught me to lean on her when I need to, to trust in her love and protection.  Now is my turn however, and I plan on holding the lantern for my babe, as long as she needs me to, because without her, the light of my life is only a candle in the wind.

Three disjointed topics come together for today’s blog post, hold on to your hats folks this one is about to get confusing!

 

Milestones:

We made it to our freindversary! (or whatever Facebook calls it) Nov. 3rd is the day Jayme asked me to be friends so she could see my pictures of my Halloween costume. who new that inconsequential move would all me to casually flirt with her via text for the next few weeks before leading up to our first date, first kiss, and a first chance at lifelong happiness. It is crazy to think back that long ago, to what was going on in my life at the time. Living in the basement of a friend, a stagnant love life, mountains of debt, it was such a dismal feeling. I was considering moving away from it all to Colorado for a job with the VA out there. But something kept me in MN and brought a warmth to my life. The warmth was Jayme and I could not be more grateful. I am really excited now for all those FB suggested memories to come rolling in, because they will now include things we have done together (our first couplely picture, the Easter egg hunt) those memories are the ones I am excited to keep building on.

Liberty

Halloween is hands down one of my favorite days, costumes, characters, fun, no obligations. It literally is the least bullshitty of all holidays. I do my best each year to come up with great costumes, and this year, I think we really out did it. Group costumes is where it is at. Camaraderie is best made while dressed up as American Icons. I was George Washington and Jayme went as the Statue of Liberty. She looked so stunning, and more importantly she again showed her I-can-roll-with-anything attitude. It is such an amazing feeling to have a woman by my side that is comfortable dressing up in costume as she is dressing up for a fancy dinner. Dive-bar, fine restaurant, no matter where I am, she is the one I want by my side.

The Pursuit of Bambi

Deer Camp is upon us! tomorrow begins the weekend of a small camper, smelly farts, and funny stories. Oh we might also try and find Bambi too. I love this time of year, it is always great to get away and just be myself around the men in my life. my brothers are joining this year so it will be even extra special. I am pretty glad they chose this year instead of last. Not cause we were cramped for space, but because my time was absorbed into that small screen in front of me. I was texting furiously with Jayme, flirting a bunch and doing my best to cover up how enamored I was with her. I knew what we had was special at that very moment, there was something different about how she talked to me, the directness, the confidence. It was what I have wanted my whole life. Open and real communication. Well one year removed and while we will not be texting nearly as much, the excitement from hearing my phone buzz has not faded one bit.

Swingers is a favorite movie of mine. I watched it to death while growing up, usually late night before bed with Oreos and milk. Well there is one quote/pickup line they guys try to use, he talks about being the “guy behind the guy behind the guy”.  And while my story today has nothing to do with the scene per-say, it did inspire the title.

The song behind the song is what you get when you let the YouTube video play through and they put another one right in the queue. The blog has quite a few links (I am pretty sure a few duplicates too). But I find myself forgetting to select a new song and finding out what the song behind the song is. This tactic has lead me to finding new favorites and old standbys. Most of them are still pretty applicable to what the original song was trying to showcase. I feel like I am allowing the music to do some thinking for me, guiding me to reflect in new ways about my relationship with Jayme.  So the song behind the song is not always the one you are expecting, but it is often the one you are looking for. Here is just a taste.

Then

The Girl

But You

Take on me