A fun holiday weekend in the books. Me and Jayme took off on Wednesday and started the journey with an interview for her, a visit to both of my parents’ places, and then went to my brothers house before two days with her family. It was an awesome time. I got to bond with some of the gents on Jayme’s side, she got to go shopping with her mom and sister, and plenty of great food. Saturday and Sunday were ours to be together at home and just enjoy being with each other. We did our same generic life things and I loved every minute of it.

The Holidays always seem to be a time of reflection, Thanksgiving especially, we are meant to think about what we are grateful for and to show our thanks for those things. This is the first Thanksgiving me and Jayme got to spend together, and as we wind down the list of “firsts” together, I felt especially more-than-thankful. The novelty of our relationship is not what makes it great, it is the depth of it. the simplest of moments, that might only appear to be a puddle on the surface, have such deep levels of meaning and substance that a whole well of emotion could be captured from inside of it. I don’t need anymore firsts in my life to  know who I want to share my every-others with. She doesn’t show her thanks for me and us everyday, not just on some Thursday in November. She never lets me forget how important I am, or what I mean to her. those are such precious things that don’t exist enough in life.

our love is genuine, it is real, it is tangible, it is expressive, it is strong, it is exactly what I desire. I am thankful for this love I have been provided with. I will hold it close and treasure it forever.

I write today under siege from mother nature, blizzard like conditions might have me stuck on that long stretch of I-94 for hours tonight. It will be a grueling commute, at this point, I am just hoping to make it all the way home without getting stuck! If for some unfortunate reason I require rescuing and a stranger asks me for my name, I might have a hard time answering them. While Ri Ri knows her answer, my name is slightly more confusing. I am known as a lot of things and it seems that each week/month I get a new nickname bestowed to me.

Max Mcdougall, Kitten, Babe, Snugglebutt, Pteredactyl  Mr. Kitten, etc. they multiple and all are used at varying intervals. And the nausea people might be feeling at the cuteness pales in comparison to the love I feel from hearing anyone of these nicknames. They all have a back story, rich billionaire, pet cat, etc. The thought behind the story is what  makes me smile the most.  The goofiness of our relationship is something to truly cherish. It is what helps to make the bad moments okay and turns the good ones into great ones.  Funny thoughtfulness does not get enough play for its importance (henceforth referred to as funfulness). Life is serious, problems are real, obstacles, obligations, all those things exists, and having a partner who is so funful helps to cut the often overwhelming nature of existence. It creates a reprieve from all those negative and stressful situations, it allows time for recharge, to, prepare to handle whatever comes our way. Oh, it also is a lot of fun to be able to run around a park like a dinosaur with your best friend, even if you are 28.

So while I am sure my list of other names I am known by will continue to grow, the one I am waiting for right now is husband.

Picture credit from Jayme’s Snapchat of me crashing hard on Friday after work, I blame the whiskey and cozy blanket.

So the election did not go the direction we wanted it to. Our hopes for a progressive and inclusive America might have to wait a bit longer, But who knows maybe Trump will surprise us all and soften some of those hardline positions.  As the results were coming in I became more and more defeated, scared, sad, fearful. We went to bed before the election was called, it was a hard moment to stomach. I was still feeling all those emotions, but could tell that Jayme was shaken as well. She needed me to be strong for her in that moment, so I did what I was supposed to, I was for her what she has been for me so many other times. I was her rock. I did not waiver, I was positive, held up the lantern (which was discussed in the previous post) and I supported the woman I loved when she needed me.

I learned a lot about myself and our relationship that night. Something happened beyond our control, something that was bigger then we could imagine. we did not allow it to define us or control our feelings. Instead we continued to lean inwards, even more then usual. I know for 100% certainty that this is the woman I want to go through each and every shitty situation with. She will always be there to help me trudge through whatever comes our way. Jayme is my life, she will continue to be for all my days. I relish the thought of forever with her. Staring at the mural of photos I am looking at. She truly embodies what it means to be a life partner. I will stand by her side, and she by mine, our love will shine like a pillar of light no matter how dark the days get. Our love will never fade or falter, for it is powered by love, the strongest force of them all.

 

 

 

The 2016 election is only hours away from starting now. The next 4 years of leadership for our country is going to be decided very soon. Will the country select Donald or Hillary, but no matter who sits in the oval office, there is one thing that will remain consistent. Jayme will continue to be the commander and chief  of my heart. And that my super corny Segway into what really matters. This prefect emotion of contentment.

I talk frequently about how I want to be settled, have everything figured out. And as of today, that settledness still does not exist. But after a weekend away from Jayme, coming home, to home to her, brought me so much contentment I felt settled. She is the anchor that holds me in place, the one that keeps me grounded and reminds me what in life really matters. The softness of her cheeks (which she hates when I touch) the funny way she dances around the apartment, the way she cares for me diligently, and of course, the way I feel when I here her call my name. She has said a lot of things that are sweet and make me smile, but that is the one that stops me in my tracks. That this Amazing woman knows me, says my name, and wants it to be hers someday.

I just got off the phone with Jayme, she has been having trouble with what I am talking about today. She is anxious about the future, about waiting for phone calls and emails that could change our trajectory in life. The job of a teammate/best friend/someday husband is to pick the other up when they are down. Me and Jayme call that holding the lantern. That is the best thing about having your other half be someone who is as thoughtful as Jayme. She has done well more then her fair share of lantern holding for me. It has taught me to lean on her when I need to, to trust in her love and protection.  Now is my turn however, and I plan on holding the lantern for my babe, as long as she needs me to, because without her, the light of my life is only a candle in the wind.

Three disjointed topics come together for today’s blog post, hold on to your hats folks this one is about to get confusing!

 

Milestones:

We made it to our freindversary! (or whatever Facebook calls it) Nov. 3rd is the day Jayme asked me to be friends so she could see my pictures of my Halloween costume. who new that inconsequential move would all me to casually flirt with her via text for the next few weeks before leading up to our first date, first kiss, and a first chance at lifelong happiness. It is crazy to think back that long ago, to what was going on in my life at the time. Living in the basement of a friend, a stagnant love life, mountains of debt, it was such a dismal feeling. I was considering moving away from it all to Colorado for a job with the VA out there. But something kept me in MN and brought a warmth to my life. The warmth was Jayme and I could not be more grateful. I am really excited now for all those FB suggested memories to come rolling in, because they will now include things we have done together (our first couplely picture, the Easter egg hunt) those memories are the ones I am excited to keep building on.

Liberty

Halloween is hands down one of my favorite days, costumes, characters, fun, no obligations. It literally is the least bullshitty of all holidays. I do my best each year to come up with great costumes, and this year, I think we really out did it. Group costumes is where it is at. Camaraderie is best made while dressed up as American Icons. I was George Washington and Jayme went as the Statue of Liberty. She looked so stunning, and more importantly she again showed her I-can-roll-with-anything attitude. It is such an amazing feeling to have a woman by my side that is comfortable dressing up in costume as she is dressing up for a fancy dinner. Dive-bar, fine restaurant, no matter where I am, she is the one I want by my side.

The Pursuit of Bambi

Deer Camp is upon us! tomorrow begins the weekend of a small camper, smelly farts, and funny stories. Oh we might also try and find Bambi too. I love this time of year, it is always great to get away and just be myself around the men in my life. my brothers are joining this year so it will be even extra special. I am pretty glad they chose this year instead of last. Not cause we were cramped for space, but because my time was absorbed into that small screen in front of me. I was texting furiously with Jayme, flirting a bunch and doing my best to cover up how enamored I was with her. I knew what we had was special at that very moment, there was something different about how she talked to me, the directness, the confidence. It was what I have wanted my whole life. Open and real communication. Well one year removed and while we will not be texting nearly as much, the excitement from hearing my phone buzz has not faded one bit.