The future is such an ambiguous and abstract concept. The future is unwritten, full of possibility and change. It can be everything and nothing all at the same time. Sure we all have ideas of what we want that future to look like, but only on rare opportunities do we get to peer into that future. Last night was one for me.

Big brother asked if we could watch my nephew and with no other social obligations we were both happy to oblige. We have done it before either by ourselves or with other people, but never an issue or any particular insight, until last night. Jayme is what one might call a n00b when it comes to babies and kids. She never had young cousins she cared for or a sibling, so Cal is the first baby in her life. We played and had fun like usual, but the glimpse into the future came at bedtime, when I went to warm the bottle, she put him to sleep.

It was, like most things for her with little ones, her first time. So I sat outside in the hall and watched through the crack in the door as she helped to get his clothes changed, and rocked him to sleep. It was a transcendent moment, to see her as more then just a woman I love, but as one who can provide and care for something so small and special. Yes I got flashes of that same woman while he would run between her legs or sit on her lap, but that upmost sweetness can only be found at bedtime.

I never doubted her ability to be that person, or her desire to have that life, but the real life image is something that truly shows why I want to ask her to Marry me.

*side note* as I write this Jayme is messaging me about how she has “baby fever” how interesting we both are thinking about the future right this very minute.