Swingers is a favorite movie of mine. I watched it to death while growing up, usually late night before bed with Oreos and milk. Well there is one quote/pickup line they guys try to use, he talks about being the “guy behind the guy behind the guy”.  And while my story today has nothing to do with the scene per-say, it did inspire the title.

The song behind the song is what you get when you let the YouTube video play through and they put another one right in the queue. The blog has quite a few links (I am pretty sure a few duplicates too). But I find myself forgetting to select a new song and finding out what the song behind the song is. This tactic has lead me to finding new favorites and old standbys. Most of them are still pretty applicable to what the original song was trying to showcase. I feel like I am allowing the music to do some thinking for me, guiding me to reflect in new ways about my relationship with Jayme.  So the song behind the song is not always the one you are expecting, but it is often the one you are looking for. Here is just a taste.

Then

The Girl

But You

Take on me

 

 

 

The future is such an ambiguous and abstract concept. The future is unwritten, full of possibility and change. It can be everything and nothing all at the same time. Sure we all have ideas of what we want that future to look like, but only on rare opportunities do we get to peer into that future. Last night was one for me.

Big brother asked if we could watch my nephew and with no other social obligations we were both happy to oblige. We have done it before either by ourselves or with other people, but never an issue or any particular insight, until last night. Jayme is what one might call a n00b when it comes to babies and kids. She never had young cousins she cared for or a sibling, so Cal is the first baby in her life. We played and had fun like usual, but the glimpse into the future came at bedtime, when I went to warm the bottle, she put him to sleep.

It was, like most things for her with little ones, her first time. So I sat outside in the hall and watched through the crack in the door as she helped to get his clothes changed, and rocked him to sleep. It was a transcendent moment, to see her as more then just a woman I love, but as one who can provide and care for something so small and special. Yes I got flashes of that same woman while he would run between her legs or sit on her lap, but that upmost sweetness can only be found at bedtime.

I never doubted her ability to be that person, or her desire to have that life, but the real life image is something that truly shows why I want to ask her to Marry me.

*side note* as I write this Jayme is messaging me about how she has “baby fever” how interesting we both are thinking about the future right this very minute.

Happy Monday after a long weekend on the road. We were a couple of traveling fools on Saturday. From the BT5K in St. Paul, Then down to Henderson MN for Family pictures with Jayme’s family. our next leg brought us to St. Cloud for my grandma’s memorial, and finally back home to Minneapolis.  It was a great time, but there are three moments in particular that made me fall even more in love, and they are detailed below.

1. Spilled Grain Brewhouse: so we have driven past this place multiple times on trips to see my family, but we are either running late or just want to get home. It looks folksy and cute so when we stopped in we pulled up to the bar and started sampling. We got our beers and talked. We discussed just the everyday, talked about life and how much we liked the beer and place. It was one of those date like feelings. I was giddy, like I was on a first date trying to impress the most amazing woman I have ever met, not knowing I already have her heart. I know a year doesn’t look like a lot of time, but feelings like that fade often, relationships get stale and robotic almost, but not with Jayme. She makes an ordinary trip to a brewery into a memory that will be with me forever.
2. She is a keeper: I have already written about the resounding praise Jayme gets from all the people she meets. How sweet she is, how gracious, fun, kind, beautiful, blah blah blah. My aunt Patty had kind words as well. As we were getting ready to leave she gave me a hug and whispered “she is a keeper” again I was taken aback (at this point I guess I should just come to expect it). It is always a great reminder that her love shines so bright that others see and just have to comment.
3. Early to bed:  So Sleep is not something I do often, I am more of a night person. I typically get a huge case of FOMO when I am not doing something on a Friday or Saturday night, but not this night. Me and Jayme were both wiped by the time we got home, it was straight to bed before 9:00! As I laid there, getting ready to drift off to dream world, the last thing I remember was how truly amazing the everyday is. I went into this Saturday and called it “the day of obligation”. It was to be a weekend that was lost and would not provide much for excitement. But it was quite the opposite, everyday that starts and end the same way this one did is one to relish. Her head next to mine is all I need.

So with all that being said, and all the uncertainty for our future, the destination can be anywhere as long as I have my shotgun rider with me.

So wanting to make the moment Jayme learns out about this blog to be as magical as it could be, I knew I wanted to pay the 12 bucks for a .com domain name. I however did not want to pay 10 more on top of that for the We-wont-share-your-info feature…. Big mistake. This has lead to calls weekly from the following locations (keep in mind this is just a sample of the locations.)
San Jose, CA
St. Louis, MO
Bismark, ND
Bridgeport, CT
West Bloomingfield, MI
Malibu, CA
Crescent City, IL
Brainbridge Island, WA
Alvin, TX
Hattiesburg, MS

All of them want to offer me a $250,000 small business loan. They reviewed my record and can tell this thing is ready to grow and they have the capital to offer. They could not be further from right if they tried. First off, the investment that is needed is only the words I type and the pictures I tag, this “business” only functions with hard work, no infusion of funds will make the content better then my unskilled hands can make it. Secondly, growth is against the business model I developed. We have a very specific demographic we are targeting, and I know just how to get the word out to her when the time is right.

Yeah the calls get annoying, but they are all for a good cause. I also never say “no” or “take me off your list” because for me it is a reminder of what I am doing here. I am building a proposal and a memento for a woman I love so she can feel secure in my dedication. So when I pick up my phone and see a number from around the country, I smile to myself, about this great secret I have, but more so the inspiration for this secret. She is to me the definition of pure human awesomeness. So while my current “company” might be cash poor, we are just biding our time until our launch.

 

No I am not talking about that curse word I just made you mumble, I am talking about the one that is more important that, the one that has shaped all of our lives in one way or another. Family. This weekend Me and Jayme went on a trip with her sister, future brother in law, mom, and dad. Let me tell you, it was a blast, we did all the things and had a great time with all of it. I wouldn’t change any of it (well maybe Brit Brit saying we jumped in the lake, but that is another story).

Over this last weekend I was able to see alot of what a life with Jayme would be, how she was raised and what it meant to be apart of this family. There were so many great moments that I want to write about, but only one that really matters. It was last night, with her sister, on a porch in plastic chairs.

We talked about alot of things; the future engagement, religion, kids, jobs, ect. But the one thing that struck home with me was her thoughts on how me and her little sister are together. How we love, How I care for her, How she knows I am the one for her best friend. We cried (duh, my emotions are out of control without that many whiskey cokes), we got to feel what it will be like to be in each-others lives forever. Truthfully Brittany said alot of things that night that made me feel safe, happy, and proud, but no words compare to the love that was in her eyes for who me and Jayme are together.

I have two F words to worry about now.

 

Oh we also got arcade married, it was pretty great. 🙂