It has been awhile since I wrote about the impetuous (yes I knew the word, but finding the proper spelling awhile) for my blog for Jayme. I want a gift to present to her, to show her my thoughts and our memories over our time dating before she answers that question I want to ask. As time has been passing and we have navigated our lives together, I get glimpses into the time after I ask. The planning, the sharing, the love, all the obvious things are present, but when is it going to happen is still a mystery.

I know when I would ideally like to do this, after I get a new job, we are set in our plans for moving to a new place, and the air is crisp with scents of fall all around.

Now while that might sound perfect, there are plenty of barriers from it coming true and being the chosen time. First and foremost would be not wanting a two year engagement. Jayme’s sister is getting hitched next fall already and feel like it might be too close together. So this would push an engagement into next spring, an almost unacceptable time for me to wait to ask Jayme to be with me forever.  Secondly I don’t have a work solution figured out. That could happen in a matter of days, weeks, or, months, one can never be sure until they are certain.

The one thing that is not holding me/us back is the most pivotal piece though, our commitment and love for each other. We love and support each other beyond anything I have witnessed in my life. It is everything that should be foundational in a relationship that will stand the test of time. So with that, I know that this is what I want, It is what I will have, but right now, the waiting game we are playing can be torture-some and necessary all at the same time. And since the ball is in my court, I will do my best to be patient for our time to come, for the future to unfurl and reveal when our forever is meant to begin. Until that time I will be sitting, waiting, and loving the woman of my dreams.