Month: February 2016

Music in the Key of We.

Posted on by lwsteinbach

Music is a universal thing that can convey emotions and invoke feelings that we didn’t know were there. This is true for me about Jayme. Sometimes there are songs that come on the radio, or over Spotify that hit me so strongly in the right moment that each note hits with such a weight that tears a squeezed from my eyes involuntarily. The waves of feelingss pulse through me and I need to express or pass those feelings on to Jayme. But today I decided to  save this one for the blog.

Driving to work today I kept thinking about the future (a common occurrence) and wondering what it will look like in actuality. I was struggling and then in an instant all of it cleared up with this song.

Break on me, even if the words are meant for something different for you, drew a picture in my head of Jayme standing in a country kitchen, something on the stove she was making, holding our first child in her arms, calmly controlling the world around her. She was so full of grace, strength, and beauty. It brought me such indescribably joy, to see my current amazing girlfriend as the future mother of my children.

Now I can add this song to a long list of ones that have more then a surface meaning. I am grateful for this ever expanding index of love inducing songs. I cannot wait to discover the next one.

zero sleeps

Posted on by lwsteinbach

My new favorite unit of measurement is sleeps. This is how I measure the time before I get to see that lovely woman known as Jayme. Sure technology has allowed us to stay in touch with FaceTime, texting, Snapchat, ect, but nothing can beat the feelings of having her in my arms at night. I look forward so much to the simple pleasure of having her by my side while we talk. Holding her hand in the car, going shopping together, it doesn’t matter what it is, it is infinitely better when she is able to be by my side.

This whole long distance thing is not easy and we have found out after three weeks that it is the nights that are the hardest. When you just want to be alone together. That is why “sleeps” have become such a cool thing. It helps remind me that I only have to lay my head down on that pillow X more times before it is no longer there alone.

Every day Jayme becomes more and more a fixture in my life, and last night she confirmed that I am in hers as well. While we might have several more weeks to go of her being 197 miles away, she has decided that the first thing she will do after her internship is to make my place, our place. Now this is something I have already been feeling, but to hear her confirm that she feels the same it is utterly euphoric.

So right now, this very moment, there are zero sleeps between me and my someday bride, zero sleeps before I get to see her smiling face when I walk in OUR door, Zero sleeps before I can get to spend the evening talking to her face and not Facetime, Zero sleeps before I get to sleep next to my best friend.

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“So how did you two meet?”

Posted on by lwsteinbach

A very common question asked of couples. whether at a dinner party full of coworkers, sitting at a bar for happy hour with a bunch of randos, this is a story each couple needs to have down pat. Often times the couple will embellish or downplay certain elements. It is a story you will be telling for many years to come, and for me and Jayme, we have a great one. (also our story telling skills are bey0nd stellar so imagine as you read this that there is boisterous hand gestures and witty adlibbed moments)

I met the woman I was destined to marry at my place of employment. I was working as a dietitian and she was coming in as an intern with us here. I had weeks ago swore off the dating scene for the time being. I told myself that I was going to focus my career and the ill planned out half marathon I signed up for. When we got the word who our new intern was going to be I did what I always do, I googled her. I like to see where they went to school things about them and such. This girl though…. she was beyond beautiful, her smile, her eyes, that intense passion for life just shown through the few pictures I could see.

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Well in a few weeks we were introduced and it turned out her beauty in person was even better then what I remembered from her photos. We worked together for a few weeks and actually got to spend three days sharing an office while my coworker was out. We talked about everything under the sun, but music seemed to be a common tieback for us, we would battle youtube songs back and forth. We playfully bantered, but it had yet to cross over to flirtatious.

That weekend was Halloween and I had my eye on a girl who was at the same party as me, so Jayme, being the good “friend” wanted to hear more. She asked me all about it and was there to console me when it didn’t go as planned (hindsight, best thing that could have happened). I asked if she saw the pictures on facebook but very slyly said she had to friend me to see them. That moment opened us up for communication after work hours. We started feverishly messaging the next weekend when I was away deer hunting. Things picked up and it became more then just friendly.

I struggled with my feelings, how would this affect my job? does she even like me? it was difficult, but I knew that I wanted to talk to her whenever I could for as long as I could. The day before Veteran’s Day I asked her to go to happy hour with me. She obliged and we had what can only be described as the most natural impromptu first date. We talked, laughed, never had a down moment. This girl was it, I knew it for that day that she had my heart. There was no need looking elsewhere for anything better because the best was right in front of me. The “one drink” happy hour turned into a 4+ hour event. Neither of us wanted it to end.

Next week amidst plenty of messages Jayme asks me for coffee and we talk and discuss our predicament, the tension and feelings were strong for such a short amount of time together. the night ends with me telling her that while she is an intern with us we can’t date (that would mean three months of seeing each other everyday but not being together). Jayme agrees and we go out separate ways.

Later that night I get this text:

“If one day you wake up and it’s too much, I understand. But, for now, please just enjoy this with me. It’s so rare in this world to find someone you truly enjoy the company of. And, if that’s so wrong.. then maybe the world could use a little more of that.”

I complied and we started to plan how we would celebrate our first real world date together.

We settled on seeing A Christmas Carol at the Gutherie Theatre. Initially it was going to be on Friday but Jayme was “feeling 22” and wanted to go out with some girlfriends. So I thought it would be a good time to hit up my local watering hole as well with my roommate. Clearly our hearts were elsewhere that night however. Both of us continued texting the other baiting the other one into joining them where they were. After sending my roommate home (double jack cokes will do that to you). I asked her if I should come downtown with her. Thanks to her friend who it sent “yes”, I hopped in a cab and headed downtown.

I walked in with no nerves, I knew what I was going to do. I was there it kiss that girl and damnit it was going to happen right away. We talked for two minutes before I grabbed her and kissed her hard. It was the best kiss of my life, hands down, bar none. The night however was short lived since Jayme ended up in the bathroom feeling ill and I was directed to leave by some loyal and protective friends.

We kept our date to the Guthrie the next day, she came to my place and we drove to the theatre where we played the part of sophisticated adults. we sipped fancy drinks wore fancy clothes and enjoyed the show. (we even selected the same favorite actor name on the count of three, makes you kinda want to vomit everywhere due to cuteness overload right?) We spent that evening making dinner together, cuddling, and as I walked out to start her car that evening, I knew that girl was going to be my wife someday.IMG_1985

197 Miles

Posted on by lwsteinbach

One nine seven. That is the number of miles away I helped to relocate Jayme to this last weekend. She will be completing her internship a state away for the next 3 1/2 months. This is going to be a trying experience for us but also one we can use as an opportunity to grow closer as a couple.

This “last weekend” together started like all the others, in my car on the way back from my work and her internship. we talked, laughed, and made silly sounds between deep conversations. We met Jayme’s parents out for dinner and then proceeded to pack away her life for the early morning drive. That night we did our best to reassure each other that things were going to be fine and that our love is never-ending. It is sometimes hard to accept that this girl, has the feels so strongly for  a guy like me.

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The roads were clear, the weather good, and the unpacking went off without a hitch. After her parents left I busted out a bottle of Bubbly and we had a true new apartment experience and drank champagne as we unpacked her place. Later we sat around just chatting about whatever came up. Her inquisitive nature is one thing that I could never get tired of. Everything felt very first date-esque. We rounded out the night with walking to pick up a pizza and a few rental movies. a mundane way to spend the evening, but in all honesty, I have learned all I need is her next to me to make any night magical.

The next day was hard. over the last two weeks we spent as much time together as possible (and it was amazing, but come on she is the love of my life so how couldn’t it be). Now we were starting the next chapter. a chapter that is highlighted by the numbers 1, 9, 7. As we laid in bed after a nap and I prepared to leave I kept thinking how dumb this all was. I will see her each weekend, we will talk on the phone, text throughout the day, video chat, we will have constant communication thanks to dating in the digital age. But the one thing that cannot be connected though screens is the feeling of holding the woman you love in your arms as she drifts to sleep. So maybe those feelings of nervous detachment are not so strange after all.

As I drove off the sun was setting in my rearview mirror, I then imagined that same sunset and how different it will look when I am no longer taking this trip alone, when I am bringing back with me the most precious cargo in the shotgun seat next to me. That will be a sunset like no other.

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Side note: full disclosure there is a  Taco John’s near Jayme’s new place and I feel that my potato Ole intake is going to increase to dangerous levels, so watch my waistline grow along with my love over the next 4 months 🙂